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Sustaining the Journey Archive
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August 11, 2010
Set-Asides
Capabilities are the "how" of learning. They provide us with mental maps which guide our behaviors. This week we will explore the second Cognitive CoachingSM capability of setting aside unproductive patterns of listening, responding, and inquiring. We all know the value of listening when communicating, but struggle with perfecting that skill. A Cognitive Coach is required to remove from his thoughts all things "self"—past, present, and future—so that we may log another's words, meanings, and emotions. Only then may we have the necessary information to use with our coaching tools to successfully mediate another's thinking.
Mediators monitor and manage their own listening skills. This requires a coach to suspend certain mental tendencies which are common to all human beings when listening to others. These habits fall into three categories:
- Autobiographical listening
- Inquisitive listening
- Solution listening
Gather some data for assessing your craftsmanship with this capability by reflecting on the following:
- I mentally check my coat of "SELF" when entering the door of a mediative conversation.
- When coaching, I am aware of when one of "my stories" begins to enter my thinking, and I block it.
- While listening, I garner information—not for mere curiosity, but to understand—so that I may pose a question to support self-directed learning.
- I free myself of "should" thinking when coaching so that I do not slip into offering solutions.
- When I catch myself rehearsing a response, I stop myself and stay focused on verbals and non-verbals of the other person.
- I am aware of some of my filters and set them aside so as to remain open to hearing the person I am coaching.
Costa, A., & Garmston, R. (2002) Cognitive Coaching:
A Foundation for Renaissance Schools. Norwood, MA: Christopher-Gordon Publishers, p. 64-66.
Costa, A., & Garmston, R. (2010) Cognitive Coaching Foundation Seminar Learning
Guide. Highlands Ranch, CO: Center for Cognitive Coaching.
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